


I'm Sorry I Went Into Survival Mode When You Tickled Me

by futuretrapqueen



Category: Football RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-03
Updated: 2015-10-03
Packaged: 2018-04-24 15:45:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4925530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/futuretrapqueen/pseuds/futuretrapqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leo likes horror films. As does Neymar (or so he claims).</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Sorry I Went Into Survival Mode When You Tickled Me

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sick and it's freezing where I live so here, have a drabble on this dreary Saturday evening :)
> 
> Also ...  
> *spoiler alert* if you've never seen "The Conjuring."

"Your'e a sadist." Neymar giggled, curling up close to Leo on the couch. 

The Argentine was still on strict bed rest following his knee injury, not that Neymar minded much. It gave him more reason to dote on Leo - as if he really needed any - and it made him happy to take care of his boyfriend, as stubborn as the older man was.

Leo shrugged, draping an arm across Neymar, pulling him tightly against his chest.

"Are you sure you want to do this? We don't have to ..."

"No." Neymar interrupted, toying with the hem of his t-shirt. "No it's fine I - I love scary movies!"

Leo glanced down at the younger man, eyeing him cautiously. He knew Neymar wasn't a huge fan of horror films, that he put up with them for Leo's sake more than anything else, but if he said he was fine well, Leo assumed he should believe him.

"Okay. I've got _Insidious_ and _The Conjuring_. Which one?"

"Uh ..."

Neymar wasn't even sure what the word  _Insidious_ meant, but he knew it sounded terrifying.

" _The Conjuring_ , that one sounds good. Fun."

"Fun?" Leo looked over at him, quizzically.

"Yeah fun!"

Neymar was staring at the cover of the DVD, face twisted up in a grimace. 

A decrepit looking mansion stood eerily in the background of the shot and a decaying tree was focused at the forefront, with a noose hanging from a large branch ... Neymar gulped, audibly.

"So.much.fun."

He turned on the DVD player and settled back beside Leo on the couch, grabbing all the pillows he could find and stuffing them around his body.

Leo smirked. "You okay?"

"Hmm. Yeah, yeah. I'm good. Good! Excited. I'm excited for this movie to start." Neymar sputtered out in a rush. "This is going to be good. This is going to be so good. I'm excited. Are you excited?"

"Shhh. It's starting." Leo whispered, pointing at the screen. Neymar groaned, internally, snuggling as deep as possible into Leo's side.

~

"Why won't the dog go in the house?"

"What?"

"The dog. It won't go in the fucking house!"

"Oh. I don't kn - "

"It's because it's fucking haunted! That's why!"

"Neymar ..."

"When an animal with better senses than you doesn't want to enter an ugly ass house YOU don't then enter that ugly ass house anyway! Fuck! Why are people so stupid?!"

~

"Dead time."

"What?" 

"3am is dead time. It's when ghosts and spirits and shit are the most active."

"Okay?"

"The clocks stopped at fucking 3:07am Leo! You don't think that's odd?!"

"Well I mean, this a horror film so ..."

"That's when you fucking evacuate the premises and - OH MY GOD WHAT JUST GRABBED HER FUCKING LEG?! DID YOU SEE THAT?!"

"Fuck! Neymar, stop screaming!"

"She sees it. She fucking sees it and I bet no one else can. Watch ... I TOLD YOU! Her sister can't fucking see it. She's going to die!"

~

"No normal fucking family would play _hide and clap._ What the fuck is that? I swear to God, it's like they're asking for this shit to happen to them."

"What's wrong with  _hide and clap?"_

"What the fuck is wrong with YOU?!"

"..."

"Look at this dumb ass lady right here ... WHY ARE YOU GOING IN THE FUCKING BASEMENT? ALONE?! I hope this bitch ass demon snap, crackle pops you in your face, bitch!"

"Neymar, for the love of Go -"

"WHAT DID I TELL YOU?! I GUESS  _HIDE AND CLAP_ ISN'T AS FUN AS YOU THOUGHT?! PLAY BINGO LIKE A NORMAL FUCKING FAMILY."

~

"This is why I'm not having children."

"What?"

"You're just asking for a demonic possession and WHY DOES THAT DRESSER HAVE A SECRET PASSAGEWAY? I DIDN'T REALIZE WE WERE GOING TO NARNIA."

"Jesus Christ ..."

"It's got her by the hair Leo ... It's literally climbing the walls with her. THIS is why I shaved my head."

"No it isn't."

"WELL IT FUCKING IS NOW."

~

"OH MY GOD TIE THAT BITCH TO A CHAIR BEFORE SHE MURDERS YOUR CHILDREN!"

"Is that the mom?"

"OF COURSE IT'S THE FUCKING MOM! THIS IS WHAT YOU GET, BICTH."

"Because of  _hide and clap?"_

"YES BECAUSE OF MOTHERFUCKING  _HIDE AND CLAP_ WHAT A STUPID FUCKING GAME!"

~

The movie ended, and at some point during his mental breakdown, Neymar had made his way onto the floor in front of the TV, with a throw blanket draped over his body.

He was rocking back and forth, steadily muttering to himself in Portuguese.

"Ney?"

"..."

"Neymar?"

"..."

"Baby!"

"What, Leo? What do you want?"

"..."

"..."

"Do you want to play  _hide and clap?"_

"..."

"..."

"You. Are so lucky you're injured or else I'd KICK YOU IN YOUR FUCKING KNEECAP!"

 

**Author's Note:**

> Consider this my "Neymessi Halloween Story", haha!
> 
> Thanks for reading :)


End file.
